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Authored by
Chaitanya S - Brampton Library Writing Contest
"What a loser!"
Everybody in the boys' change room cracked up and even the most polite broke a smile, but for Vijay Singh, the center of the laughter, it was like another bullet had struck his heart. He quietly put his T-shirt back on his frail body, vowing never to take it off again.
He left the change room just before a tear ran down his cheek. He brushed the offending cheek with his hand. How he hated to cry! He would so love if he weren't able to cry, like almost everybody at Tudor Park Secondary School . But he couldn't help it; they just rolled down - oblivious to his other feelings, except for getting humiliated again and again.
Vijay Singh was 13 years old, and it was his first month of high school, and the worst month of his life. He had managed to become the laughing stock of everybody, including some teachers who couldn't resist the temptation. How he hated them all.
But he couldn't say a word to his parents. They had enough problems on their heads with trying to make ends meet. They had just come to Canadian from India two months ago. His brother, Karan, had just started kindergarten and he was having the time of his life. A small smile peeped through his tears as he thought of his brother.
A sharp stab of pain in his shoulder quickly brought him back to reality. He had managed to run into somebody. He looked up and found himself staring into the mean face of a senior football player. Uh-oh. The senior looked ready to punch the daylights out of him. He hastily burst into a mumble of apologies, his poor English not helping him at all. The senior's mean face became a mocking face quickly. He ran away as fast as he could, everybody's laughter ringing in his ears.
He walked the long way to his brother's school just to avoid all the students who walked on the normal routes. As he was walking to his brother's school, he though hard as he always did. He was very desperate for an end to all this, but he didn't know where he could find it.
He couldn't talk to any councillors because he was afraid that everybody would make even more fun of him. His vulnerability to jokes hurt him to the core of his heart. Not the nice, polite jokes where everyone laughs, but the mean, spiteful ones whose ultimate goal is to humiliate you.
He arrived at his brother's school just as the kids rushed through the doors with smiles on their joyful faces. He located his brother among the throng of students and started to lead him to their apartment. His brother was sporting his famous toothy smile as they walked through the cold streets of Canada .
"How was school today?" he questioned.
Vijay managed to produce a smile for his brother's sake and replied, "It was lots of fun. How about you?"
"It was awesome," was the cheerful reply.
The rest of the trip home was thankfully uneventful and silent. Karan was surprised at his brother's silence, as in India he had been one of the most entertaining people to talk with. But this had happened all month, so he respected his brother and kept silent, letting his brother relax in solitude.
Vijay opened the door to the lobby of his apartment. He pushed the elevator button, depressed from life in Canada . Would he ever be happy here? Was he being too greedy? He knew in his heart that he would never be happy, although he tried to counter this strong feeling with feeble reassertions.
He stepped into the elevator, involuntarily flinching as he saw a poodle. The owner chuckled, and it seemed as though even the poodle smirked. His brother tried to hide his face with his hands as he reached down to pet the poodle. They waited for the dog and its owner to leave before they entered the elevator.
They reached their home on the twenty-ninth floor. Vijay opened the door to the two-bedroom flat and neatly put everything away. He heated up some frozen food as his brother put his things away. They ate the hard, tasteless food, not melancholic because they understood what their parents were going through was much worse.
Their parents would arrive late in the evening, just before dinner. They both had laborious, low-paying jobs. Vijay was enraged at his helplessness to do anything to help his parents, but he was committed to getting good marks in school so as to get a good job.
He finished his homework rapidly, as school in Canada was effortless compared to school in India . He took a small nap and flipped through the 20 or so channels on their 20-inch TV. They all regretted coming to Canada , except his brother, but what could they do now?
He heard the doorbell and quickly ran to open the door. He understood that his parents would be exhausted and they would need some caring for. He brought them glasses of water as he took their bags away from them and helped them settle in.
Everybody silently ate their petite dinner until Vijay's dad broke the silence by asking, in their native tongue, "How was school today, kids?"
"It was awesome," Karan was quick to reply.
His dad looked meaningfully at Vijay, and Vijay hastily replied, "It was lots of fun," remembering his pact with himself not to lead his parents to more problems.
Everybody fell silent again.
Suddenly, a telephone ring broke the uneasy silence. Vijay got up and took the phone.
"Hello," said a deep male voice.
"Hello," replied Vijay in his high-pitched voice.
It seemed as though the caller was holding back a snicker as he said, "Hey, Vijay. This is Josh from your gym class. You want to come over to my house? I was regretting what I did this morning, so you want to come over and maybe we could play PS2 ® and maybe eat some pizza."
"Umm . OK, hold on one second," replied Vijay, unsure of what was happening but excited at the prospect of one of the coolest kids in high school calling him over as he put one hand over the handset so as to make sure Josh couldn't hear him talking to his dad.
"Dad, can I go to my friend's house? I'll be back by ten."
His dad, happy at the fact that his son was going to have fun but not knowing that he was signing his son's death warrant, replied, "Sure, son. Go have fun."
"Yea, I can come. Where do you live?" Vijay asked Josh.
"Great. I live at 13 Luser Crescent . It's behind the Tudor Plaza . You know where that is?"
"Yup. See you there soon."
He thought he heard a chuckle as the line went dead, but he dismissed it quickly and he placed the handset down.
He put his best clothes on and waved farewell to his parents for what would be the last time as he left the house. It was raining heavily outside. He had never been behind Tudor Plaza , but there was always a first time for everything. The walk took fifteen minutes, and he walked around the back of the plaza.
"Strange," he thought, because there was nothing behind the plaza except for a small wasteland and then Lake Ontario . He thought he was at the wrong place and started to retrace his steps when he saw the small note sticking to the ground. He was compelled to pick the soggy note up and read it. The note simply said: "Loser!"
That was the last straw, as he felt humiliation worse than what he had ever felt before. It burned his soul. He poured his soul out in the form of tears. And suddenly, he found the answer he was looking for.
He gazed straight ahead as he started to walk determinedly towards the cliff. No one stopped him as he made the walk to the fence guarding people from falling into the lake.
He jumped swiftly over the fence, now at the edge of the cliff, nothing between him and bliss. He looked at the stars above for the last time. He stood there remembering the last month with great sorrow as the thunder and the rain camouflaged his tears.
He never looked back as he stepped forward into thin air and cried with ecstasy as the wind rushed in his ears. The vast and stormy lake opened its arms to him, ready to swallow him up. He had found his answer. This was bliss.
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